CL: “Hey champ, I’ve ordered us the soup broth. It’s delicious, do you like soup broth”?
DS: “Chris, I want to discuss core roles of the executive under any new ACT/National Government…”
CL: “I’ll get us the soup broth then, are you going to Taytay in Sydney? The kids want to go so I’ve hired a private jet. Hope it’s not a Tesla eh? (laughs loudly at own joke)
DS: “…..”
CL: “Chris Bishop is also going, he wanted to get a lift with us, but come on. He was a Tobacco lobbyist, he needs CEO money to ride with my crew (laughs loudly at own joke)
DS: “…..”
CL: “Do you like Taytay? I hate how everyone suddenly became a fan after her latest album, which is amazing, don’t get me wrong, but I was a fan from day one. All these newbies sucking up to her now, where was Chris Bishop when she released her first debut in 2006?
DS: “I believe he was 22”
CL: “Are you a Swiftie?”
DS: “…..”
CL: “I think we should have sponsored Taytay’s concert you know, it would win votes with the young female electorate Judith Collins tells me I need to win over. She’s become a great mate recently, hanging out a lot at my house when she turns up unannounced. She joked she was trying to catch me sleeping. I think it was a joke, you can never tell with Judith. Do you trust Judith?”
DS: “I think she’s a treacherous radioactive swamp witch who will always knife you in the back the first chance she gets, sorry, what did you say about the State subsidising a Taylor Swift concert?”
CL: “Yeah, I could get onstage and do a karaoke with her and my daughters will be like ‘Daaaaad’. I bet I can get on tictok with that! Are you on Tictok?
DS: “…..”
CL: They say you will trick me into giving you everything ACT wants including a referendum that will start a race war, but you wouldn’t do that eh?”
DS: “I’ve specifically said I will make you do that”.
CL: “Yeah, but not really right”?
DS: “I’ve specifically said I will make you do that”.
CL: “Yes and I say things I have to walk back all the time too”.
DS: “I’ve specifically said I will make you do that, and have never walked it back. My last 3 press releases have been, “Why I will force this on Chris Luxon, How I will force this on Chris Luxon and When I will force this on Chris Luxon“.
CL: “You guys are so good at press releases, when I was at Air NZ we had a great press release person. Do you think your guys would run the press releases when we take over?
DS: “…..”
CL: “Oh here’s the soup. I love our weekly catch ups over lunch, it’s really helping me understand the man I’ll be working with”.
DS: “…..”
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