And now the pretend is clear
And what I face is finally certain
Leo Molloy, I’ll make it clear
I’m full of shit, an Oz behind the curtain
I’ve lived a life that’s bull
I’ve burnt each and every bonsai
But more, much more than this
I did it while hating every Gay

Regrets, what are those?
Simon Wilson is the exemption
I didn’t do, what I had to do
I saw Auckland drown and took my pension
I planned each asset privatisation
Each evil step along the byway
But more, much, much more than this
I did it while hating every Gay

There were times I’m sure Simon Wilson knew
When I bit off more than I could chew
But through it all, when there was doubt
I Fucked it up and shat it out
I faced it all and I stood small and did it hating every Gay

For what is an old boomer, what has he got?
I ejaculate dust, hollow money shot
To not say the hate that I truly feel
Are the words of Quitter Molly who kneels
Let the record show I took all the blows and did it hating every Gay

I love Comedy Roasts, they are gloriously offensive and are a cherished cultural space that most be protected from the woke and the Feminist Comedy Guild, however the Leo Molloy Roast (which only raised a pathetic $13000 for the Mayor’s arsehole fund) spoke to a far deeper malaise inside the NZ Right.

Don’t get me wrong, some truly killer and hilarious burns were thrown around. It’s so lovely to see Guy Williams was loaned a pair of balls so that he could attend after he had to apologise to the woke for platforming heteronormative white cis male hate on his TV show – but Golriz will want them back.

It was great to see Judith Collins out of her crypt and not slaughtering livestock for fresh blood while Shane Jones will turn up to any event he can eat at for free.

I’m not saying Shane Jones is a greedy condescending fat bastard, but he’s a greedy condescending fat bastard.

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It was cruel to pretend Sean Plunkett is relevant and what the fuck was Sir Graham Henry doing there?

Did he understand what he was invited to?

His agreement speaks to the concussed brain damage rugby players suffer from.

Soccer NZ should tour him around schools to promote to kids why they shouldn’t play rugby.

“Too many hits to the head and you too will agree to hang out with Leo Molloy, play soccer”.

Wayne Brown’s arrogance however summed up the misplaced smugness that has saturated the political right in NZ.

They misread his Mayoral victory last year as support when really he was elected under a privatised voting regime rigged against poor people.

To mistake his victory as support for his agenda is woeful and has led to a hubris and smug arrogance that is utterly underserved.

The shockwave of the Herald Poll of Polls, the shockwave of the Roy Morgan Poll, all the Right scream now is that the polls are rigged because everyone in their toxic echo bunker believes the exact same thing they do!

The feral right have become as disconnected with reality as the cancel culture woke.

Election night is going to be fun.

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